


Mr. Chorizo's Warriors

by MrChorizo



Category: Eurovision Song Contest RPF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-01-24
Packaged: 2018-05-16 01:32:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 6,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5808139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrChorizo/pseuds/MrChorizo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of the Russian plot that took place in May 2015.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The steam was getting denser, making it impossible to recognize the person looking back at her. She reached out and touched the cool surface in front of her with her finger. As it was gliding along the surface, she felt the refreshing sensation of cold glass. She withdrew her finger to fondle her nipple, which immediately started to harden. Polina had mastered the art of drawing smiley faces on bathroom mirrors to perfection since her early childhood. Bigger challenges awaited her in the upcoming days, however, making the blonde woman slightly nervous as she pondered once more, what was at stake. The plan had to be executed to perfection.

When she left the bathroom, wrapped in nothing but a towel that accentuated the shape of her body, he had already arrived. Polina could sense his eyes scrutinizing the prominent shape of her breasts. Her body tingled. “Daddy!” she almost shouted, “I didn’t expect you so soon!”

Vladimir rose from his seat, stepped up to his daughter and tightly embraced her, his breath smelling of vodka. After letting go of her, he broke the news that one of the contestants had been confirmed to be a hostile agent. The information had reached him only minutes before he left to meet his daughter. His sources didn’t leave any room for doubt that they were being targeted but they hadn’t been able to ascertain yet, which of the participants was the undercover agent. “We will identify and terminate this threat,” he declared, “Until then, we must proceed with utmost caution. We will prevail and then we will be unstoppable!” Vladimir reached out to touch his daughter and let the back of his index finger slowly run down her cheek.

Polina’s blue eyes met her father’s gaze. “I will do my duty and serve my country,” she conceded, bare of any emotion.


	2. Chapter 2

Marjetka donned her headphones to practice her song once more, while her husband was looking at pictures of curtains on his tablet. She had been aware of his fetish for years and wrapping herself in curtains in the privacy of their home was nothing out of the ordinary for her anymore. Showing herself in public like this was still new to her, though, and she was worried that they might be going down a slippery slope. Rehearsal week had already started and the television event of the year was only days away. There wasn’t much time left to perfect their staging and there certainly wasn’t enough time to have a new dress made at this point. They had received multiple offers from world-famous designers, all willing to design a dress for Marjetka for the big night but her husband had turned them all down. “This curtain is perfection,” he had informed her, his voice trembling with excitement. Whenever Marjetka suggested that the curtain might harm their chances to succeed, her objections were disregarded and she was told that all the curtain lovers would support them. “Do you have any idea how many of us there are?” her husband had asked her, “Believe me, we can only profit from it. With this curtain we will be unstoppable!” Now this matter was set in stone and all she could do to ensure a good result was to practice her vocals. She decided to give another pair of headphones a try and put on a model covered in rhinestones. Something wasn’t right, though. She heard noise coming from the headphones. It sounded like voices; a distant whisper. Confused, Marjetka checked the cable but it wasn’t plugged in. With all that tech around her, was it possible for the headphones to produce noise without being plugged in? No, that didn’t make any sense! Marjetka focused on the voices, trying to make out any words.

“… target … entered the building … seize …”

The voices were suddenly gone and replaced by silence. Marjetka looked across the room, where her husband had been, but he had just left for the bathroom leaving behind his tablet. The display showed a lace curtain. Marjetka smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

On the way to his room, he ran into the guys from Italy again. _That can’t be a coincidence_. He smiled. They exchanged a few friendly words but Nadav quickly presented an excuse to continue on his way to his hotel room. He felt truly flattered that they kept making advances and he felt intrigued by Gianluca’s bulge but he had to decline. After all, he was here on business and unlike that Swedish fella, he liked playing hard to get. His team was already waiting for him inside his room. Before getting to work, they were joking around and as expected, they still weren’t tired of the jokes about his fake age. Before rigging the casting show, his superiors at Mossad had expressed serious doubt whether Nadav could pull off impersonating someone ten years below his actual age but by now Nadav had proved to everyone that he was able to do it. Nobody would have ever suspected that he was actually 26 years old. In the eyes of the crowd in Vienna and the fans around the world, he was an innocent teenager, not a special agent who called a black belt in Krav Maga his own and who had killed eleven men with his bare hands, ready to make it a round dozen if need be.

Nadav placed a blueprint of the Stadthalle on a table in the hotel room and assembled his team around the table. “I know where he will keep it and we will be able to create the perfect diversion.” Nadav smirked as he held up his tablet revealing the picture of a dress.

“So she actually agreed to wear it?” His team seemed genuinely surprised.

“She most certainly did,” Nadav confirmed. “No one can foil our mission now. We are unstoppable!”


	4. Chapter 4

Their meeting had to be arranged sub rosa. The equally flamboyant and nosy queens of the so-called press were everywhere these days in Vienna and you had to be very careful to avoid them. They convened at a secret underground facility that could be reached via a system of tunnels that extended from the embassy to the outskirts of Vienna. After exchanging the obligatory pleasantries, the atmosphere in the room quickly grew even tenser as the reason for their meeting was about to be addressed. “First of all, if anyone found out about this… I don’t really need to explain the gravity of the situation, do I?” Without waiting for a response, he continued. ”Let’s cut to the chase: I received an anonymous warning regarding the safety of a certain item. I’m sure you know what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

“I can imagine that there is only one thing in your possession that could possibly warrant all of this but why am I here now? You think it was me who threatened you?” Kjetil looked at him in disbelief.

“It is a special anniversary for you this year, isn’t it? We both know what happened. What you have done… It was very hard on you.”

“Yes, of course it was!” Kjetil was visibly frustrated now. “And now I’m even singing about it!” he added sarcastically.

“So this is all just a coincidence then?” Jon Ola mirrored the sarcastic tone the conversation had taken.

“My way of dealing with the situation is to sing about it. You are not my enemy. Without your help, we could have never gotten this magnificent backdrop, we wanted. I was actually worried, the press would call it favoritism but all seems fine. In this regard at least… I suppose in one way I can understand why you were thinking of me but I also feel hurt by this accusation.” He paused. “The truth is, through this song me and my family can finally leave this issue behind.”

“Your speech was quite melodramatic but I’m willing to believe you,” Jon Ola conceded. “I think I have to apologize to you. After what you have been through, I’m sure you can understand…”

“I’m afraid many sinister characters have joined this party.”

“Maybe the Swedish delegation…”

“Him? No way!” Kjetil laughed. “He tried to get into my pants but that’s all the mischief he’s into. I’m confident that our Nordic brethren have nothing to do with it. I can only identify one region known for harboring aggressors on the map.”

Jon Ola nodded in agreement.


	5. Chapter 5

Once more Ann Sophie caught herself staring at the sky in disbelief. It had not rained the whole day, something she had never witnessed in Hamburg or London, the cities she considered her home. She was on her way to what was probably the most important event of the week short of the grand final on Saturday. Marta and Václav had invited the delegations of all countries to a beautiful Viennese theatre for one of their famous Punch and Judy shows. The Czech broadcaster apparently spared neither effort nor expense to support Marta and Václav. Thanks to Germany’s Big 5 status, she was even granted a seat in the front row together with the other six prequalified countries. Ann Sophie was aware that a few delegates from smaller countries that hardly anyone could even locate on a map were displeased with this rule and it was these people, who called her Jon Ola’s secretary behind her back. Being able to sit in the front row while they were seated all the way back in the theatre meant that she had the last laugh, though, so she didn’t let it bother her too much. She was a little annoyed with the Swedish singer, however, since he had given her the cold shoulder when she had made an effort to flirt with him.

Originally, the seating plan was based on alphabetical order but Germany requested to be seated in the centre and the Italian singers requested to be seated between Australia and Austria. France wanted to sit next to Germany and the UK didn’t want to sit between two other countries. After careful consideration, it was discovered that based on English country names only Italy had to change their seats compared to the original seating plan, so following a short discussion, the seating plan was revised and the evening could resume undisturbed.

The show was truly hilarious. Marta and Václav definitely hadn’t promised too much. Even the meanest bloggers among the journalists, who were allowed to watch the show on the screens in the press centre, tweeted raving reviews. When the crocodile peed on Punch, Ann Sophie noticed that she had to excuse herself and hurried to the loo.

On her way, she ran into a member of the royal family. It was not the Queen of Europe herself but meeting Valentina was exciting enough. They exchanged a few words and added each other on Facebook, before Ann Sophie had to excuse herself to go urinate and possibly defecate too.

“You are very explicit about what you are going to do!” Valentina laughed, “Keep me updated!”

To her dismay, Anne Sophie noticed that she was not the only one approaching the powder room. From a distance, she could see Polina enter before her, making her hesitate. Ann Sophie had heard the wildest stories from the girls. Polina was said to talk constantly to the girls in the stalls next to hers, she was rumoured to be a noisy and smelly farter and she was said to have repeatedly asked for loo paper being handed to her because she was running out of it. Ann Sophie tried to stall and waited for Polina to re-emerge. Minutes passed and Ann Sophie’s discomfort rose but Polina didn’t come out again. The thought that Polina was probably waiting for someone to show up to hand her another roll of loo paper, crossed Ann Sophie’s mind. She just didn’t want to be that person and then to be forced to take a toilet selfie together on top of it. After a few more minutes, she couldn’t wait any longer and started to walk towards the ladies’ room. She didn’t just need to use the loo; she was also impatient to return to the show. Following the highlights on Twitter just wasn’t the same. Longing for her front row seat, she entered the ladies’ room, expecting the worst. All the stalls were empty, though. Ann Sophie was puzzled for a moment before shifting her attention to the open window. Noise that sounded like muffled screams was audible from outside. Ann Sophie peeked out the window. There she was! Ann Sophie could see Polina being dragged into a dark van by two men, struggling to break free and trying to scream. Ann Sophie was shocked and didn’t know what to do. After standing there paralyzed for a few seconds that felt like an eternity to her, she went inside the nearest stall. She urinated but she didn’t linger to defecate.


	6. Chapter 6

William, who was proud of being the most royal among the queens in the press center, and his courtier known to everyone as the Nubian Princess were swiftly prancing to the area with the free food. They had obtained proof that the Swedish singer had been sending pictures of his private parts to various jury members via Snapchat promising more if they voted for him. No other news site had published the story yet but William and his retinue were withholding the scoop for now weighing their options. He and his suite were all highly professional journalists. Otherwise, they would have never had the slightest chance to get press accreditation for the most important TV event of the year. Nevertheless, their staunch professionalism had to be weighed up against the chance to get their hands on these pictures for their own pleasure. They had already reached the consensus that all the other queens and lordlings of the press corps would opt to contact the Swedish singer to get pictures in exchange for their silence, so there was at least no threat that a competitor might steal their scoop. They still needed a new top story, however, which was the focus of their current discussion.

“What about the rumors about Polina?” the Nubian Princess asked with arms akimbo. “I say we make that our top story!” she continued, brandishing her index finger in front of William’s face in an effort to give point to her journalistic concept.

“We are reputable journalists!” William reminded his retainer. “First we hear the wildest stories about her bathroom habits, then there is a quaint rumor about a kidnapping and when she shows up again on the next day, she behaves like a completely ordinary person in the ladies’ room for the first time ever. How could we possibly turn that into classy news coverage that meets the quality criteria of our noble media outlet? Do you really think that our top story should be that Polina’s farts don’t reek anymore?” William scoffed.

“There is more to this story and you know it!”

“Yes, one roll of toilet paper seems to be enough now,” William burst into laughter.

“Teehee!” the Nubian Princes chimed in.

“Let’s just post the selfies that we took with the artists during the interviews. This clickbait always works. In the evening, we have enough content about the first semi-final anyway.” William paused. “It’s as if Polina has been replaced with a toilet-trained doppelgänger,” he added amused.


	7. Chapter 7

To his relief, the first semi-final had passed without any breach of security. Due to the recent incident, Jon Ola was alarmed but maybe it had just been a technical glitch after all. Some of the security cameras in the theater had stopped working simultaneously the day before and shortly after he heard rumors about Polina being kidnapped. Luckily, her team had been able to confirm that she was fine and she showed up again this morning to assure him personally that everything was all right. The security of the event was one of his most important responsibilities. He had even set up secret security cameras in the restrooms to ensure the safety of the contestants. Unfortunately and suspiciously, even these cameras had failed on Monday evening.

A vibrating sensation in his pants informed Jon Ola about a new security event: Polina had entered the ladies’ room again. She had always been particularly interesting to safeguard, so Jon Ola decided to make sure everything was all right. Polina reminded him of his younger days in the seventies. Most women just didn’t have a huge bush like this anymore. By the time he switched his TV to the bathroom security cameras, Polina was already peeing in the stall at the far end of the room. This struck Jon Ola with surprise. Polina was known for her talkative nature and her preference to take a stall in the middle to make it more likely to have someone to talk to right next to her. He had seen many an uncomfortable looking singer in the stalls next to her in these past few days. There was actually someone in the stall right next to her at this very moment but Polina didn’t say a word to her. Jon Ola switched to the camera in Polina’s stall and made sure no kidnapping or other breach of security was occurring. His eyes immediately caught sight of the roll of toilet paper, which looked new and hardly touched. Everything seemed off to him. Puzzled he focused on her every move. Polina was already about to leave again. She had never been that fast before. Jon Ola had risen from his seat and was standing directly in front of the large TV screen, sweat running down his face. When he finally got a good view of her crotch, the realization finally exploded in his head: That was not Polina! The little hair this woman had between her legs was dark. Polina was naturally blonde. Jon Ola felt like someone had kicked him from the seventies to the year 2015. His head was aching, as the blood was rushing through his veins. Who was that woman?

“I need to talk to Christer right away!” he blared at his secretary trying to recover his poise. Christer had annoyed him at their last meeting with his proposed rule changes but he needed to talk to him about this matter right away. Focusing on this issue would at least keep Christer’s mind off the proposed new tie-breaking rule for now. Christer had proposed a new rule inspired by The Hunger Games. Not with him, though! Jon Ola was a Battle Royale man. Christer, this clueless prick, should have known that! Nevertheless, he needed him now. Christer was one of the major players in this game of music. Jon Ola also considered talking to the Austrian government about this delicate matter but when he remembered that the chancellor was a taxi driver and that the foreign minister wasn’t even a man grown but merely a boy, he became painfully aware of the futility of such endeavor.

Jon Ola decided to keep his _precious_ on his person from now on at all time. The security of the Stadthalle might have been compromised but it was still the safest place. He also arranged for a special task force to guard him permanently. Then finally, Christer arrived. On his shirt, he wore a pin in the shape of a mocking jay. Jon Ola snarled.


	8. Chapter 8

Broken glass and porcelain covered the floor. In the corner of the room, a splintered chair lay on its side, surrounded by smaller pieces of wood. He stood there in the middle of it all with a face red from anger, cursing and shouting. She had not worn the dress after all and she was out. It had taken Mossad years to arrange for this plan. Now their only chance was some last-minute improv. That wasn’t even their only problem. They had tapped into the security systems and bugged the whole place, so they were well aware that Polina had been forcibly removed from the theater and replaced with a look-alike within hours. _They_ were able to replace a singer but Mossad couldn’t even get another one to wear a specific dress. Nadav felt crestfallen.

Finally, his staff arrived at the hotel with the newest intel. “She was flown to Moscow by the Russians?” Nadav was taken by surprise, “Why would they send her here and then replace her like that only days later?”

“Our informants are already on it, sir. So far we can confirm that it goes all the way up.”

“So her father brought her back home?”

“Yes, sir. We can confirm that he gave the orders. It seems she is held captive at a location known as _The Dungeon_.”

Nadav had heard about that place. It was a place of depravation normally reserved for torturing personal enemies of the Russian president. “Is there any chance this report might be wrong?” Nadav asked in disbelief.

“No, sir. She’s really there. It’s confirmed. They cannot tell us anything else yet. The identity of Polina’s double is still unconfirmed. We are trying to get a DNA sample as we speak.”

“Did we get the green light for the revised extraction policy?”

“They’re still working on it, sir.”

Nadav sighed. He didn’t really have the nerves for it but he had to go practice. After all, tomorrow he needed to qualify at the second semi-final and it wasn’t that easy to manipulate the results of that show. At least not for them.


	9. Chapter 9

Marta and Václav had been eliminated in the second semi-final despite of being everyone’s darlings, she observed. Some contestants had already replaced their colorful sequined dresses with plain black sequins as a condolatory gesture. San Marino was out too but she hadn’t heard from Valentina. She decided to post on her Facebook page, since she was supposed to allay any suspicion, but how likely was it that Valentina didn’t know what was going on? Pretending to be Polina towards strangers was easy but Valentina seemed to have noticed something. When she had qualified for the grand final on Tuesday, everything still seemed okay but after they had gone to the bathroom together following the show, Valentina suddenly came up with an excuse and left. She hadn’t heard from her since. She didn’t understand what she might have said or done to cause this reaction. Certainly, her behavior on the toilet couldn’t have been the reason. The absurdity of that notion made her laugh. They hadn’t even talked about their plan. She would have told Valentia that she was scared and that she just couldn’t do it, if the topic had come up that night.

She recalled the innocent days of her childhood when she would often play with Polina at the family’s French summer residence, the Palace de Putin. Back then, she could have never imagined that she would assume her half sister’s identity like this one day. Their father had already been aware of her betrayal but he wanted to give Polina one last chance, gracious and kind as he was, and he hadn’t been aware of the identity of her co-conspirator yet. When they finally found out, she was surprised herself. The both of them had founded a Femen coven, called SM Femen. Polina had intended to apply for asylum in San Marino after her stunt. She would have torn open her dress during her performance in the grand final, bearing her breasts and denouncing the politics of their father at the same time. Valentina would have done the same, when appearing as San Marino’s spokesperson.

She checked Valentina’s Facebook page again. Marjetka had posted a picture of herself wearing black headphones and a black dress that looked a lot like a curtain. This style seemed to be fashionable in Slovenia this season. Probably some regional fashion trend, she thought. One of Marjetka’s countless pairs of headphones had actually helped expose Polina and Valentina’s plot but of course, Marjetka had no idea about that. She probably didn’t even notice that one of her headphones was missing considering how many she had brought. Her father’s henchmen were ecstatic after they had gotten their hands on it. There were only three known pairs like these in the world. The headphones had been handmade by a mysterious hermit who lived in a cave near the summit of Mount Triglav. He had made them from the branches of holy trees that grew in a hidden grove at the foot of Triglav and from minerals carved directly from the heart of the mountain. His cave was impossible to find for ordinary men and could only be found by following ancient shamanic rituals requiring specific and rare hallucinogenic herbs. The magic bound in these headphones allowed the wearer to uncover secrets normally beyond the reach of the World of Men. They would be an additional gift for her father to compliment the item that she was supposed to take from Jon Ola during the grand final.

By now, she had received dozens of likes for her post. Polina had always been the more popular of the two. Propagandina had been the first to compete in the contest and had made it to fifth place two years ago under her stage name Dina but she had never been a favorite to win. This year, however, glorious majestic Polina was representing Mother Russia and many fans saw Russia as the likely winner. The bookies agreed. Russia was already in second place in the odds and the odds were still shortening. Her father had known of her jealousy and unlike her sister, she had always been loyal, so he had approached her with an offer to have her face surgically altered at a former KGB facility in Siberia to take Polina’s place for good. Now she would be the star! The people in the Soviet Union loved her anyway and now she was out to conquer the world. Those nasty people would all boo her in the grand final and then she would launch her new album under her new stage name: Boolina. The whole world would pity the blonde angel that was booed by those nasty people and they would all buy her album and be her greatest fans. Forget all those singers that had been popular in the past: Now it was Boolina time! She had already recorded a cover version of John Lennon’s _Imagine_ , which was scheduled to be released right after the grand final. Tomorrow she would talk to Jon Ola about the fake cheers. She would convince him to turn them off to make her plan work. Surely, he wouldn’t refuse blonde Polina. The transvestite singer who had won last year’s competition had tried to comfort her because of a few boos she had received during the semi-final but of course he was all wrong. She was actually worried by the fake cheers and the lack of booing but some sweet-talking Jon Ola and top points in the grand final would fix both of her problems, she had no doubt. When Jon Ola would comfort her after the show, her swift fingers would disburden him from his _precious_ and soon Mother Russia would dominate the world as the Great Soviet had intended.

Valentia still hadn’t liked her post. Propagandina frowned.


	10. Chapter 10

One day before the grand final, Kjetil was practicing the song that meant so much to him with his fellow monster, Debrah. He had recently told her the true story behind it but the public was completely unaware and Kjetil intended to keep it this way. He had decided to keep the lyrics vague and up for interpretation, and to perform the song as a duet because he knew that would make it more appealing to the audience. When Debrah had first inquired about the meaning of the song, he had jokingly told her that it was about a murder he had committed during childhood. She had then confided to him that she had gone on a killing spree as a little child and had told him a story full of gory details. When she had added that her hair had turned red that day from being soaked in all that blood, he had finally realized that she had just been kidding and they both had shared a good laugh but Kjetil had been a little scared of her ever since. When he had finally told her the truth, she hadn’t really been able to match that story but she had then told him about once burning a birthday cake in the oven, which wasn’t quite the same but at least it was a credible story. There are things you just cannot commiserate about with anyone. In this regard, singing a duet was strangely soothing.

“By the way, do they have any idea if the real Polina wanted to steal it too?” Debrah asked when they were taking a break from singing. Kjetil had updated her about the most recent developments during breakfast. Most people in Vienna were not aware of the course of events but Kjetil was among the select few who Jon Ola kept in the loop.

“They aren’t sure about it but they suspect that she meant to steal it for her presumed coven. Many things remain a mystery. As I said before, they aren’t even sure if she really is in a coven. Valentina denies any involvement and has already returned to San Marino.”

After some chitchat and snacking on krumkaker, they resumed rehearsal. He had received the krumkaker from Jon Ola himself. They brought back memories of what he had done but so did the song and he finally needed to get over it and to move on. When he had phoned Jon Ola and threatened him, he had made a mistake. He knew that now. Things wouldn’t go back to the way they used to be. His family was one of three who had shared the sacred knowledge but Jon Ola’s _precious_ was all that remained now. He was the last of the Guardians. Originally, Jon Ola’s family had actually been the least powerful of the three since the members of his family were the descendants of the youngest of the three sons of the legendary Norse king but now his family was the mightiest family in Norway and one of the leading families in the world. The senior branch of the family had become extinct over one thousand years ago and their _precious_ had been lost under unknown circumstances. Then Kjetil had accidentally destroyed his family’s _precious_ as a child, and all the power had ended up in the hands of Jon Ola’s family, the Sand Snakes, as he had been inclined to call them for some time until he had received a cease and desist letter. That had been a long time ago, however. He was a changed man now and not even Jon Ola had brought up that old story again. Sometimes Kjetil still woke up in the middle of the night, haunted by nightmares of his unspeakable childhood trauma. He could still see the runes burning up in the fire before his inner eye. He had never meant for this to happen. He could have been one of the Guardians one day. Maybe he could have even been the Executive Supervisor. The thought of theft entered his mind again. No, he was better than that, wasn’t he?

“A monster like meeeee!” they sang in unison.


	11. Chapter 11

He had once more declined his advances. The Swedish singer claimed to be a power bottom that could make all his dreams come true but Guy preferred being blown by girls. There were still a few hot girls left in Vienna who hadn’t gone down under with him yet and he would soon return home, so he had to make good use of his time. Those two Eastern European background singers, who were lucky enough to be invited to his dressing room before his performance, seemed quite happy with Australia joining the contest for the first time. Now all he had to do was to wait in the green room until the show was over and hope for similar approval from the rest of Europe. While he was watching familiar faces on stage, his assistant was looking for hot chicks in the audience that would come over to his dressing room before the voting. Vienna was quite nice and he had even seen a kangaroo at the zoo, which almost made him feel at home, if it weren’t for the lack of poisonous snakes and spiders that would come into your home in Australia, if you ever dared to open a window. The European style of music seemed rather odd at times but he was happy to be the first to represent Australia at this important event. The Swedish singer was a little creepy, though. He just tried too hard and whenever Guy caught a glimpse of him, he kept nodding, winking and smiling at him. Everything he did was laced with innuendo. Guy tried to focus on the stage but he was growing impatient with his assistant. When he noticed someone approaching, he thought that it was about time for his assistant to return but it was the Swede again. _Does he never get tired of this?_

“Hey, yo, mate! I like the style you normally wear! How’s that style called in Australia? Chav?”

Guy felt offended. “No, it’s not. Actually, I’m somewhat of a fashion icon in the land down under and those clothes are from my own label.”

“We have so much in common! Leather pants are a huge trend in Sweden now, all thanks to me! My pants are made of elk leather. Wanna feel them?”

“No, thanks. I know how it feels. We have this leather in Australia too. By the way, do you also own Bavarian leather pants?”

“Of course! I have a pair in my hotel room. I can model them for you after the show.”

“I’m looking forward to that,” Guy lied.

“Okay, talk to you later.” He left looking satisfied shaking and presenting his posterior with every step in an effort to entice Guy.

Guy sighed. A few minutes later, his assistant returned and Guy left for his dressing room. He was already excited about the voting and there wasn’t much time left, so he would limit himself to two girls now and tell the others to come back after the show.


	12. Chapter 12

After the winner’s press conference was over, he still felt ecstatic. His personal contribution to this year’s victory was especially exciting for him. Once more, he had done everything right. On Monday, the preparations for next year’s contest in Sweden would start and he would do his best to ensure that Sweden would finally win on home turf equaling the Irish record. He had already sent the boy to bed, which meant he had time to talk to Jon Ola.

“How nice of you to come by,” Jon Ola welcomed him to his office.

“I always enjoy our little get-togethers.”

“I have to thank you once more for warning me about the hypnotizing dreidel and for your help exposing the plot of the two Polinas.”

“I was happy to help you out with my headphones. We wouldn’t want you to lose your krumkake recipe, would we?” Christer smirked.

“You just want it for yourself,” Jon Ola scoffed.

“I prefer the special brownies I just made.”

“There is something else I need to address today. I know about the pictures and I know it was you.”

“Of course, it was me! He is just a humble bottom. With his pics, we couldn’t have bribed a single juror, believe me,” Christer laughed.

“I will let it go this time. We both know that we cannot afford such a scandal or a Russian winner now. You can also consider it repayment for your favor but make no mistake: I will not tolerate such manipulation again!” Jon Ola declared with a stern face.

“I’m sure next year Sweden won’t need Snapchat to win,” Christer dismissed any notion of further foul play, “I’m really looking forward to Eurovision coming home again. I’ve already prepared a few changes that I need you to implement.”

“We will see about that.”

“You will like this one: As we know, Eurovision is traditionally held in May and we cannot just postpone it to June but I think it would be great for the show to coincide with Midsommar. Instead of the traditional Parade of Nations, all participants could dance around a maypole during the opening. What do you think?”

“How can the contest take place around midsummer although it has to take place in May?”

“That’s easy. We will insert an intercalary month. We can call it Christi.”

“How about Joni?” Jon Ola interjected defiantly, “After all, I am the Executive Supervisor!”

“For now,” Christer grinned. He pulled down Jon Ola’s pants, wrestled him down, and pushed into him. “For now…”

Jon Ola groaned.

 

# The End


End file.
